Having heard the illuminating description of jīva-tattva in. Daśa-mūla, Vrajanātha returned home. Lying on his bed, he was unable to sleep, and he began to reflect deeply, “I have received an answer to the question, ‘Who am I?’ Now I can
understand myself to be simply an atom of light in the effulgent
rays of the spiritual sun, Śrī Kṛṣṇa. Although atomic by nature, I
have my own inherent value, purpose, knowledge, and a drop of spiritual bliss (bindu-cidgata-ānanda). My svarūpa is a spiritual
particle (cit-kaṇa). Even though that form is atomic, it is like Śrī
Kṛṣṇa’s human-like form. Now, I cannot see this form; and this is my misfortune, only an extremely fortunate soul can realize it.
It is important that I understand clearly why I suffer in this
unfortunate condition. Tomorrow I will inquire about this from Śrī Gurudeva.”
Thinking thus, he finally fell asleep at around midnight.
Before dawn, he dreamt he had left his family and accepted
Vaiṣṇava dress. When he awoke, he joyfully thought, “It appears that Kṛṣna will soon pull me out of this saṁsāra.”
The next morning, while he was sitting on the porch some
students approached him. Offering their respects, they said, “For along time you have taught us very nicely, and under